I wish my health was better
I wish my head was better
I wish the weather was colder
I wish my thought weren't this heavy
I wish I could draw what I want, when I want, without being bonded
I wish I could get over this sadness of mine
I wish I could talk to my friends, and not only speak to them



I miss him.




Something doodled before going to bed.
SAI is acting weird.

I never thought a pic could give me HELL like this one this, or mostly, its folds. I hope they look alright OTL
It was a ggod practice tho, I guess.
Even if I realized there were other mistakes.. /head desk



I tryed to make him look this age but.. it kinda feels wrong. I think I've been used to see him look moe and younger and now it's weird to picture him like this.
And he looks so high too OTL

BTW, this is a sample for fullbody CGs (even if it looks so plain OTL;;;)

Probably non-edited looks much better, so close-up:

Trying to make up a sketchdump, but all my old doodles are way LQ and crappy.
I keep forgetting about some of them, like this one



I'm having a colorblock right now.. I really have to finish coloring this picture, but I'm unable to..
and I want to doodle freely and not care about responsibilities, or the fact that summer is slowly passing by.

Today I found out that the illusts I had to make for a magazine must be done by tomorrow night! OTL
I don't think I've ever spoken about this, but last december, last day before vacations, one of my school teachers (the son of my Bio ex-teacher) accidentally saw some of my drawing and told me if I was interested in drawing for a magazine. I had holidays after that and we barely never met in school, so I though they had forgot about me (I met the teacher again one or two times.. and reminded him LOL)
However last day of school, before summer vacation, he invited me to one of the meeting the magazine people have (I did my best to go there even if I had a bday party right after it OTL; I was unlucky the whole time). At that time, I had to show some my artworks to the director too, and he looked like he wasn't so convinced (it was mainly for the anime-syle I think, the magazine appers to be serious bussiness a very serious political one). The journalist were very nice tho, I though it would have been great to work with them (even if I don't write). After that, more than a month passed, and when I started thinking they had given up on the idea, I get a call and they tell me they want some illust for travelling articles.
I was very surprised, and quite pleased it also was about travelling <3

I didn't think it had to be ready for tomorrow tho! OTL Thankfully I email my teacher last night so I found out.
I don't know if they will be ok with chibi-style, but this was my idea. I hope the sketch I sent him now is fine.



ahaha megane <3

I wonder if they will decide to have more illustration for the next issues.. I'd be really happy to keep drawing for them (it looks like a get some money too *u*/ /shot)

EVEN SO. This makes me 10x busier. I planned on finishing a sample for when I will start commissions and I couldn't. Futhermore, I still have to do trades, collabs and a doujin collab with Billies OTL

So I promised no more procastinating or lurking till the end of summer. I hope I will be able to keep my oath sob


Sorry if my posts will eventually be very short from now on..

I completely abandoned the blog sob. I can't do a thing in this hot weather, it's helpless.
So many things have happened that i'd like to talk about, but everytime i tried to get on the computer, it was either slow or suffering, and it often crashed.
After a long-postponed back-up, I spent all Saturday's night saving my data and stuff, and finally asked my dad to format the pc. Seems like he had to work on its own tho, and the reset was delayed for two days OTL
But finally! It looks like it's fine now, it still hasn't made weird pained sounds and good things came:

• My pc is now faster, cleaner and more efficient
• It doesn't take 15 minutes to be ready when i turn it on, bur only a few minutes *u*
• Firefox doesn't log me out each time i close it *u*
• SAI works just fine

and also some well.. not-so-good things:

• klsdfkjhsdf Windows Live Messenger 2009 which made me spend two days on removing it and installing old version. I finally made it but it looked like a mission impossible. I really hate the new version.
• I lost all my emoticons on there, there were really some cool ones /cries
• I can't custmize the taskbar, there are some new things i don't need that are just getting in my way..

Also I don't know how to arrange my folders now. I think i need some kind of suggestion - how do you people keep your files?
I also realized there was so much stuff on my pc I didn't even needed.

See you soon again with Billies' visit report!